Expensive Loved Ones,
I’ve been thinking about how to update all of you on my chemotherapy treatments this summer time, which just so come about to have fallen appropriate smack dab in the middle of getting to be a Beth Millner Jewelry ambassador. For a even though I was not positive if it was the worst timing or the finest timing when I was preferred, but then I recognized that this is specifically how daily life goes: you never get to opt for the timing of your life’s problems or your options. You only have control on how you decide on to believe about them, and how or if you make a decision to act on them. For occasion, I could say that breast cancer is the worst issue or the ideal thing that is happened to me, since each are correct. Surgical procedures and chemo are not exactly points that folks hurry to sign up for, but at the similar time, that’s specifically what it took to explore how quite a few angels I have in my corner and how form and generous and thoughtful the globe can be.
Now that I’m approaching Week 8 of the 12-7 days Chemo Marathon that I in no way wanted to indication up for, sponsored by the club I’d never ever wished to sign up for (breast most cancers), I have recognized a individual truth of the matter: marathons suck. I indicate, I’m confident there is at the very least a single man or woman out there who enjoys jogging so considerably that they seem ahead to beating the crap out of their bodies for miles and miles, and that possibly there is some unusual runner’s euphoria I’ve nevertheless to faucet into, but dang! Not gonna lie, it was much easier at the beginning when you are at the setting up line and there are a gazillion of your bystander peeps seeing you and cheering you on. And I’m confident there will be just as numerous there ready for me to cross the end line. But when you’re on mile 8 of 12, and there aren’t as several people on the sidelines observing you any more, your working receives pretty unsightly, and so do your ideas.
And talking of that, there’s nothing at all that’ll stir up your notions of splendor and ugliness very like a nice spherical of balding chemo. But then once again, that is the full level of this story, a reminder that we have full management of how we opt for to see something, and we can possibly seize an possibility or let it move us by.
I really do not know about you, but considering that I did not plan on possessing all my hair drop out multiple moments in my existence, I figured now was the opportunity to flip a handful of lemons into lemonade.
It was a handful of weeks ago when I was ready to start pulling all my hair out in clumps, quite significantly appropriate on agenda, close to “mile 4” in the marathon. I knew that as hard as it was, I’d need to have to make peace with declaring goodbye to my hair, as “unpretty” as that could make me experience, and I’d had a brilliant concept that would distract me sufficient to get by means of at the very least the next handful of miles.
I was heading to chortle my way via the total matter, and I was heading to make sure that a person else benefited from it, much too.
And which is just what I did. I went out on social media and informed all my close friends that for every single $20 they donated, that they’d get their names place in a hat for a massive drawing, and that the person whose identify was drawn would get the honor of choosing the style that my Mumma would attract on the again of my bald head, after I’d shaved off all my hair. The proceeds were being break up similarly between the Delta County Most cancers Alliance and Wildlife Endless of Delta County. With each other my angels raised almost $2,500 to break up involving two of my beloved charities!
It took me three haircuts this yr to get to my bald canvas. Individuals of you who understood me six months back knew that I experienced extended hair down to my reduce back, so my hair was a big component of my id. I donated the to start with foot of it to Small children With Hair Reduction, so that an individual else would be in a position to wear a wig that I was ready to grow for them myself. I’d finished this after in advance of and experienced resolved that when my hair reaches a sure duration, I’m going to keep undertaking this until I’m no lengthier close to to continue to keep increasing it. Consider of all the wigs that’ll be out in the entire world immediately after so a lot of many years! Would make me smile.
My next haircut bash was likely from my shortened bob haircut length to tomboy length, which was surprisingly harder than heading pool-cue bald. It’s possible it reminded me of the last time I’d had my hair this small in 2nd grade, a tiny kid mistook me for a boy, and my psyche never recovered. It’s possible it is because I just don’t imagine shorter, small hair is all that flattering on me. No matter what the explanation, I had to electrical power-smile my way as a result of that full 7 days just before the serious shave took place, and that gave me a clean slate in far more strategies than 1.
Practically nothing claims “I like you” pretty like your excellent hairdresser friend agreeing to change you into a bowling ball (I have been instructed I have a beautifully round head) and your 75-calendar year-outdated mother agreeing to draw one thing on the again of your head for charity. And that’s exactly what they did. The gal whose title had been drawn wished a hummingbird and a pink breast cancer ribbon in the style and design, and looking at that the canvas was moveable skin protected in a mild stubble, I consider my mom actually kicked ass on the concluded product!
It is been two weeks managing close to my corner of the world with no hair, and the component I haven’t talked about till now, simply because I have been as well chaotic pretending that becoming bald is a total hoot and a hilarious experience, is that oh boy, there are times when I experience sooooooo unpleasant. I’ve place a couple pictures of my new design and style out on social media, and lots of people have commented on how wonderful I look. But I never genuinely think them. I’m confident that they’re saying it just to make me sense better, for the reason that, you know, Mile 8. The section where by I’m “ugly running” and persons do not have time to sit there on the sidelines and cheer me on each individual next of the day simply because they have their own lives to are living.
I realized without a doubt that I’d have unpleasant days all through this marathon. The thing is, even when you know there will be struggles uphill, at times you do not see them coming right up until you are appropriate smack dab in the middle of one particular. And all you can do is acknowledge the hill, suck it up, buttercup, and continue to keep plodding simply because sooner or afterwards the ground will be level yet again.
The natural beauty I’ve been able to consider with me on this marathon considering that the beginning is my Beth Millner items. Regardless of whether I have experienced long hair or limited hair or no hair, they’ve been with me for the comprehensive marathon, like a talisman guarding me from sensation unappealing or from experience like a complete failure. They remind me of so many daily life lessons I want to understand this time about. When I head into each individual chemo mile marker, I’ve got a different do the job of art accompanying me. A single week it is my bumblebee pedant, reminding me to keep fast paced and to maintain shifting. The future it may well be my heart pendant, reminding me of all the love and assistance I’m having with me into each and every of these classes. A different is my butterfly selection, representing the changes that I’m going by. It’s possible I’m sensation ugly at this phase of my journey for the reason that which is how it is intended to go, like how the caterpillar might really feel right before it cocoons. But search at how I’ll be transformed at the close of this marathon!
I’m wanting ahead to sharing with you my end line, my transformation, and my tale as it proceeds to unfold. I have often reported that my purpose is to lead such an unusual and exciting life so that I’ll have really excellent tales to tell when I’m 100 decades aged in the nursing property, and boy, is this 12 months at any time creating! Thank you, my angels and cheerleaders, for inserting yourselves alongside my marathon route and rooting for me.
Coincidentally, up coming 7 days you could basically cheer me on, if you are in the Escanaba-Gladstone area. My husband Todd and godson Noah and I are all “competing” in the MISH mini-triathlon on August 27. Noah will be doing the 3-mile kayak part, I will be biking 13.5 miles, and Todd will be operating the 5k finale. I’m not positive I’ll be breaking any documents for speed on Saturday, but you can most assuredly rely on me not being a quitter.
Let’s go, Staff G!
Be happy, be well.